Rage Triggers, Part 2

Our brains are beautifully designed to process and assimilate information. We all have unique learning styles that determine some components of our personalities and the means by which we express ourselves.

STAGES OF CONSCIOUSNESS
Our minds have three distinct modes hat we use when we learn new information about the world. When we are actively taking in new information, our brain is processing in the conscious mode. Information we have already learned is stored in our unconscious mind. We use or subconscious mind to transport information between the conscious and the unconscious parts of our mind.

Let’s say, for example that you are sitting in biology class learning about how frogs reproduce. While you are sitting in your seat listening to the teacher, you are actively using your conscious mind (hopefully!) to gather new information.

Periodically you stop paying attention and stare out the window for a moment. While you are staring out the window, your brain, much like a computer, is processing your new information about frogs and you are storing it in your unconscious mind.

Suddenly, while staring out the window, you have a memory about the tadpoles that you caught in a pond on your grandfather’s farm when you were four years old. Your subconscious has retrieved this information from your unconscious mind and brought it to the attention of your conscious mind.

LEARNING STYLES, STAGES OF CONSCIOUSNESS AND ANGER
The mind also has different ways of learning new information. Research has shown that people have three basic learning styles: auditory, kinesthetic and visual.

LEARNING AND THE CONSCIOUS MIND
Learning new information takes place initially in the conscious mind. People who are conscious auditory learners, for example, learn best by listening or hearing lectures. People who are conscious kinesthetic learners learn better with a hands-on approach. They learn by feeling and doing. People who are conscious visual learners learn best by watching or seeing something done first before they try it.

LEARNING AND THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND
The subconscious mind is where we sort out information. It is the link between our conscious and unconscious mind. In the subconscious state we are deeply relaxed but we can still pay attention to the outside world. The subconscious mind allows you to process information so that it can be integrated into your unconscious framework of perception. Like the conscious mind, y9our subconscious mind has three channels, auditory, visual and kinesthetic.

LEARNING AND THE UNCONSCIOUS MIND
Your unconscious mind is where you store your primitive or basic emotions and all the information about the world that you have collected all your life. This is also where we store our core fears; the messages about where we have been emotionally injured.

When we are angry, something has triggered emotions stored in our unconscious minds. That is why sometimes when you rage it seems as thought your body has done things that your conscious mind had no role in. The truth is that sometimes your conscious mind had no part in your rage at all.

I remember the only time I ever hit my oldest son. I was trying to have a conversation on the telephone and he kept bothering me. I was really annoyed with him when suddenly, while continuing my telephone conversation, I reached out and slapped him in the face.

I so shocked by what I had done. I truly could not remember having any conscious though about reaching out and slapping my child. It was as if my hand had acted independently of my conscious mind.

In truth, it had. My unconscious mind was triggered by my feelings of frustration and annoyance. I expressed my unconscious feelings with my body.

Raging is primitive and regressive and stems from the unconscious mind. Like the conscious and subconscious mind, the conscious mind has the three channels of expression, auditory, visual and kinesthetic. How you express your rage is probably a good clue about what channel you are processing on when your mind is in unconscious mode.

PATHWAYS OF PROCESSING
Usually, your conscious, subconscious and unconscious minds use different channels or pathways through which they process information. So, if your conscious mind processes most naturally through an auditory pathway, your subconscious mind will do the same with kinesthetic or visual pathways. If your conscious mind uses auditory and your subconscious mind kinesthetic then your unconscious mind can only use the visual channel.

In other words, it is as if there are three doorways through which information can flow into your mind, and at each doorway stands a doorman, one of the three stages of consciousness. If you add up the different combinations of these doorways and doorkeepers, you come up with nine different possible learning profiles.

For a very readable and useful guide to these learning styles see How Your Child Is Smart by Dawna Markova.

There may be exception to these profiles but I have found that they generally prove very accurate.

Try this simple exercise to help you determine which channels your conscious, subconscious and unconscious mind are broadcasting on. Close your eyes and get into a comfortable position. Take a few deep breaths and relax. Now pick a memory that is very important to you, like the first time you met your spouse, your wedding or the birth of your child. Note what your fist impressions of your memory are. These will be on the channels of your conscious mind.

Go a little deeper into your memory and note what your next impressions are. These impressions will be on the channel of your subconscious mind. Go even deeper and recall your last impressions of your memory, these impressions will be on the channel of your unconscious mind.

So, for example, when I remember the first time I met my boyfriend, my first thought was how handsome I thought he was. I remember the curve of his jaw and his brilliant blue eyes.

Next, I remember talking to him on the phone and how mesmerized I was by his grasp on almost any topic that we discussed. This triggers feelings of comfort and security that I experience in his presence.

So by analyzing my memory, you can see that my first thought (He is so handsome, the curve of his jaw, his brilliant blue eyes) or the conscious part of my memory has an auditory component.

The second part of my memory or the subconscious part of my memory has an auditory component (the sound of his voice) and the third part of my memory or the unconscious part of my memory has a kinesthetic component (feelings of comfort and security).

I habitually process information in a visual-auditory-kinesthetic manner. When I express my rage I am very physical. As you can see, my unconscious mind is on the kinesthetic channel and I need to express my rage with my body in order to gain relief from my raging emotions. I need to be sure to include a physical outlet for my rage when I am managing my anger.

Understanding your unconscious mind will help you find appropriate ways to express your raging emotions. For example, I have learned that hitting objects like walls, pillows and furniture is more appropriate than hitting people.

The auditory unconscious rager tends to yell, scream, use sarcasm and angry words when she rages. The kinesthetic unconscious rager tends to use her body when she rages. She will often hit, spank, push, pull, throw, smash or otherwise smash property when she loses it.

The visual unconscious rager may not always be so easy to spot. Frequently, the visual rager will retreat and hide when they are angry. If they can’t physically get away, they will emotionally shut down and withdraw from the situation.

Figuring out your learning style and how it affects your rage response will also help you keep your cool and replace old damaging core fears in your unconscious mind with positive, healthy beliefs.

Next week we will talk about how our bodies help us clue into what we are real emotions are telling us.

Take good care of yourselves and do at least 10 fun things this week! (Yup, I said 10!!)

Love,
Karen

Karen Curry